More bananas, please!

The news has been very disturbing over the course of the past few days. First, there is a report of mad chimps, then there are bears being hunted, and now a Fox News pundit has been named as Bush's new press secretary. Why are all these things happening? Is it global warming? Is it the ultraconservative misguided homo sapien administration that in theory runs America's government? What is going on? I'll tell you! It's a shortage of bananas. If we all ate more bananas, we would all be much happier. Thus, my proposal is this: humans must reduce their reliance on fossil fuels (except where the shipment of bananas is concerned) and increase their production of bananas globally. It's that simple!

However, if this is too difficult, then maybe we just need to eat more bananas and watch more DOG. He's my hero!