The Versatile Monkey

Monkeys have been taking a bad rap lately in the non-simian abode that we currently inhabit. The alpha bear, aka "Grub," is complaining that he is being deprived of essential ursine food groups including salmon and berries. It's not my fault that he won't venture off his post on the bed and try to jimmy the locks on the refrigerator like his friends at the Fog City Dumpster. How does he think they survive summers in Yosemite? Panhandling? I doubt it; most visitors to Yosemite see a mere squirrel and run away squealing. Imagine how they would react to a bear walking up to them in a SF Giants jersey asking for a sample of their freshly caught rainbow trout (caught in the Yosemite General Store, no doubt!)!

Nonetheless, while Mr. Grub has been grousing about the lack of salmon and berries (I wonder if he's noticed that the blueberry bushes are full of baby berries yet?), I have been doing some positive research about monkeys and bananas on the internet. Yes, the daily visits to the Dalai Lama's homepage have helped me to find my ki; I am balancing my moods now (maybe it's the anti-depressants in the banana shakes...) and feel as though I am on my way to becoming a productive member of society again. Perhaps this soul-searching will help me to move the MLF forward, too. Oh, so what have I found? Yes, here it is: a story about the Magnificent Monkey, Monkeys as lab assistants in physics labs (though I am not sure that rocket firing is the best method for delivering bananans), chewing gum, and a monkey happiness scale.

Oook, Oook, I must be off. I have a meeting with Abogado Monkey.